he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
