I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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