Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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