i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
