I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize