ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
pray to the hookup gods
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize