just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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