nut hugger
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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