there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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