I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize