Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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