Dual....:-)
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize