fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
