I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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