They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
