Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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