I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
