Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
