No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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