That's intense
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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