My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She is in my trunk
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
