I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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