You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
porn star boner night. come get it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
