i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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