i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
