I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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