Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
