I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
