When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize