I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
