Im at strip club and am horny
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
