Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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