Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
