White coat. Heels.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
