I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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