it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My pussy is not your playground.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
