thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
