We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
