What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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