Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize