Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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