So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
