My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
