just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
