My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
