shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
