is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
