this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
