On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
