So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You can't special order awesome
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
