even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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