we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
