If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize