It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize