Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Boobs are out for the taking
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
