Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That's what I'm talking about
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.