last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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